Under instructions

‘Stop it.’

‘What?’

‘I told you, stop it.’

‘Stop what, love?’

‘Stop biting mummy.’

Fine. But how do you explain to a five year old that mummy actually likes to be bitten?

Also: the time our she joyfully draped herself over my back as I was still inside her mother, calling out, ‘Hey! Now we have a family sandwich’. She was so quick into the bedroom, I hadn’t had time to move. We’ve since refined things so that her parents don’t actually have to be making love when we play the game. I can’t tell you how much more convenient it is to do it that way.